Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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