How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
