He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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