id be glad to
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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