Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
