talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
