He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
