Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
