I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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