you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
