took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
