There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Randomize
