I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
