im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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