Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
splinters make it hard to masturbate
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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