Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
