you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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