like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My bed smells like the plague
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
