you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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