i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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