Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
