I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
