OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
