So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
