I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
