so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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