the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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