I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
