I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
