i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
