meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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