walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
