I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
