why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
