Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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