All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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