I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
