just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
