Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
