I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
