It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
