Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
