This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
