I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
