Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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