i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have aggressive nipples.
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