we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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