I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
