and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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