P.S. I can't hear my feet
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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